Black. White. Episode II

All right people, who’s watching this pseudo-documentary reality show, Black/White?! I caught last week’s episode on TiVo and I got stuff to say.

Surprised, right?

Look, I don’t know if it is the editing (that is always suspect) or if they’ve chosen the most paranoid black family on the planet and the stupidest white people in the world.

Before I begin my analysis let me say that we can extract the youngsters from my vent. Little Miss. and Little Mr. are just fine. It’s the PARENTS!

Help me, Jesus!

I’m here to tell you that these people are coming off as complete idiots.

First, we have the eye-rollin-I’ll-go-there-if-I-have-to black woman.

Next, we have the you-don’t-understand-how-hard-it-is-for-a-brutha brother man.

Followed up with the cry-me-a-river-I-didn’t-mean-it-when-I-called-you-a-bitch white lady.

And finally, a white-man-can’t-jump-but-Ima-get-real-hood-on-yous white guy.

Now, tell me this isn’t a recipe for disaster. Stereotypes and Cliches! Yes, folks misunderstanding abound!

In last week's episode WhiteMan set out to prove to BlackMan that ain’t nobody thinkin’ ‘bout him.

See what happened was…

The black guy dons his white disguise and he and WhiteMan go to a white bar. Now, WhiteMan made it fairly clear that he intends to draw the Caucasian patrons into a discussion on race. He’s trying to show that even if alone and without witnesses white folks aren’t sitting around droppin’ “N” words. See what I’m sayin’?

So, they sit down like a couple-a white guys looking to bend the elbow and WhiteMan starts asking not so subtle albiet exceedingly dumb questions… he asks if the patrons would date black… they would… they had. He follows that up with a “so even though black men are notorious for abandoning their family you’d still date one” question, and a “oh, by the way is it true what they say about penis size” query.

Well, the patrons weren’t impressed. They were clearly uncomfortable and basically let WhiteMan know his inquiries weren’t appreciated.

Good, right?

Naw, not really!

Ask me what this little encounter showed BlackMan dressin' as a white man? Well, he told his wife that WhiteMan was revealing his prejudice with the types of questions he asked.

Huh, WhiteMan told you he was going in there to start some racial mess? What makes you, BlackMan, think he was expressing some inner belief that you ain’t up to par.

Sigh and Shake My Head!

But that ain’t all…

We gotta discuss the dialect coach and all that bitch foolishness!

See what happened was…

BlackWoman and WhiteWoman were in Black/White training. The dialect coach was helping them practice speaking each other’s language… there is a difference.

Anyway, the word B.I.T.C.H was on the study sheet. Please, don’t ask me why! I thought the fact that the word was there at all was pretty telling, but I digress!

Back to the scene - WhiteWoman practicing black dialect said, “Yo, Bitch!” to BlackWoman. Well, sistah girl didn’t cotton ta that. No, She Did Not. She reared back and essential told WhiteWoman… who was of course in tears… that she didn’t know her like that! You know what WhiteWoman thought?… she admitted to thinking “bitch” was a term of endearment used by sister girls great and small.

Huh? It’s what?

Have mercy!

Look, everybody in this little episode was jacked up… Black/White… didn’t matter… e’rybody (another word on the dialect coach's list! He had the children practicing that one. Like I keep sayin’… Mercy!)

I know I probably shouldn’t, but I’ma stay turned to see what happens next!

Here’s to e’rybody lookin’ like a nutcase and not dealing with the honest to goodness race problems we have in America!